Umm,coming to my room,sitting near my study table,in front of my laptop and wondering how long it has been since i wrote a new blog post ! But really, this post,when i thought about writing it doesn't really make me feel to write one,but anyway,i'll write it down !
Dreams,everyone has dreams ! Want to be good in this, blah blah blah !
But,i had a dream too,not really a dream,an obsession maybe ? Or a passion ? Whatever !
So before writing this post,i saw a show,a show where people,mostly teenagers come up,and show their talent to the people around the world,a boy won the show,and hands down ! He was the deserving winner ! but hang on ! Hang on ! What i also saw there were two people clapping their hearts out of happiness,joy and tears of proud moments their son has produced ! Yes they where his parents ! And just when he was called upon to collect his award,he thanked his mother and father ! And the smile on the faces of his parents,ahh priceless !
After claiming the award,he pointed that to them ! ^_^
Everytime,i see my peer or a teenager of my age alike, lift a trophy,win something,i feel bad,not because i lost,not because i cudn't claim few rewards,not just because i'm not famous in and around my friends circle,not just because that award won't fetch me 200 likes on facebook ! just because i wasn't able to see that smile on their faces,that proud moment which cud've made my parents so haappy !
After evaluating my progress till now i've made,well i've hardly produced any such moment for my parents to be proud of !
I remember, i played in my school soccer team,inter house ! I was in Shivam house,and we lost in the semi-finals. When i came back home,dad asked "hey son how was your match ? How many goals did you score ? You won the match ?"
I said(in a sour tone) "nah we lost the match "
"Satyam house won !"
And suddenly,both of them said,atleast u got to the semi's !
Then,i got selected for an Inter-School skit play competition !
Sumeda ma'am,my favourite teacher till now, I was the monitor of the class then ! Back when i was in class 8 ! The whole class wished me good luck ! And before leaving home,mother said,"don't worry,you win or lose,we're always with you ! "
I reached Birla Vidya School in Delhi,waited for a while,and finally our chance came ! I saw others performing and was a bit nervous ! We performed well,and during the play,there was a time when i had to change my clothes,and after changing,i felt a bit uncomfortable,till then what was going so good,slightly became a bit dubious for me ! And,we came third in that competition !
All i got was a certificate to show for it !
Next,i was chosen to represent my school in class 11,in Inter-school Techno Quiz ! Sophia ma'am gave me that oportunity !
We visited Khaitan public school !
I and my class mate gone their,qualified for round 2,then round 3,but crumbled in the final round !
I still remeber that day, and after i came back to school at 2:10 to board for my van with sister, i came to know, i had scored the third highest marks in chemistry exam ! I quickly got over the disappointment !
But, all i got was a certificate !
Then,in college first year,things finally were looking like they were to change !
I and my fellow mates,gone to shaheed Shagat Singh college,in a Fifa 14 competiton ! First up was the round of 64,all four of us had cleared the first hurdle ! *sigh of relief*
Then up next was the round of 32,and all my three mates were eliminated except for me !
I had progressed to the round of 16,and out of sheer joy,i texted my mom and dad that i'm into the last 16 !
.....and i lost there ! 0-2 !
Other guy shouting
"Yeah man,i won"
"Into the quarter finals"
I was 3 matches away from the final !
And when i returned home,once again with a familiar feeling,i quickly went into my room, i heard my dad saying to my mom
"Dear,trust me our son will win this,he's too good at this"
And also heard mom saying
"Haha yes,he's clever but never applies that into practice"
And then they saw me in my room a while after,amd asked me what happend ?
I said "ah i lost !"
And again,they were the first ones to make me feel better !
Then,next i got selected for the Techno-Debate this time,in Acharya Narendra Dev college !
Round 1,every one was given a topic to speak in for or against the motion,i chose for the motion,and the topic was
"Has iOS 7 finally overtaken android ?"
I spoke,and progressed to the next round,
Round 2 !
And,well there aren't any prizes for guessing,if one read my post till here,i lost ! And had i qualified there,i cud've been into finals !
Back when,i was a kid of 8 or 9 years old,i dreamt of,well, i dreamt of everything opposite that has happend to me !
Now,i neither have that obsession or that adrenaline rush in me which will push me to try for further things !
Also,i wished to study abroad after my schooling,but there again, i felt short,only a bit for the University of my dreams,yes Harvard University !
..and the last thing i wanted before leaving for my college,i wanted to stand in front of my teachers and fellow mates on stage,and giving a farewell speech !
..and that dream was too big as well for me ! All i did,was watch from the sidelines, and clap for them who all made it !
While i was dancing on the floor,the so called "priviliged ones were doing that on stage" and yes ! I do rate them higher,all of them,who made it to the stage !
And,wish had i been one of them too !
So after all my struggles,after all the inspirational quotes,after all the sayings,and everything that has happend to me uptill now !
I often think, i may not be good enough for all that ?! Maybe,had someone else got that many opportunities as i did ! Maybe he may have suceeded !
I am not a good son ! And i'm too shy to say in front of you both,so i thought i can write a blog on that !
Sorry Mom ! Sorry Dad !
And,if there is another life destined for me, i wish, i reborned as a child of yours,and maybe then,i can bring that smile on your faces ! :)
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